Writing Your College Essays Outlines are Important

Here is a sample essay written for the topic of your choice question from the common application. It is by a high school senior who wanted to write about the ethnic backgrounds she was born into and was searching for a way to tie this in to what shed already decided she wanted to study in college. In fact, shed already made a particular university her first choice based on its program in this major. Heres her essay linking the backgrounds of her parents with how they have shaped who she is and who she wants to be. Notice that she grounds the essay in a moment of conflict when who she is meant losing a good friend: My eighth grade best friend and I were inseparable until one morning when she told me she had a fight with her father, who banned her from seeing me. Since hed already told her to date boys from her background, my parents thought he feared shed fall into a mixed heritage crowd, as I am of Indian and Jewish descent. I am proud of my world, and fortunately, my father had his first chance to bring us with him to India. Relatives rushed us from the airport to a welcome party at my grandfather’s house. Everyone gave us huge hugs and kisses as we made our way around the room. Among thirty relatives, I noticed likenesses between our families; we are fun loving, family oriented, argumentative, stubborn, open-minded, and welcoming of other cultures. Whether I was at a picnic, birthday party, or lunch, an amazing family embraced me. Upon my return, I paid attention to attributes from my mothers background. She loved religious school, being a Bat Mitzvah, and celebrating the Jewish holidays. While she was pregnant, my father decided to convert from Hinduism to Judaism to foster family cohesiveness.   He played an active role in our Jewish community and signed up for Hebrew lessons to help me learn prayers for my Bat Mitzvah and read from the Torah at my service. After this, he wanted to become a Bar Mitzvah. I helped him learn the prayers and his Torah portion. I then became a teacher assistant, helping out in classes and tutoring children in Hebrew. Temple was my home away from home and certainly my rock during the time of confusion and discovery following the abrupt loss of my best friend. I was confirmed in tenth grade, receiving the Rabbi’s award for being an active and dedicated participant of the temple. This past summer, I took my Jewish involvement to another level and traveled to Israel, feeling a deep connection when I arrived by ship. I had learned about ancient Jerusalem and the famous Red Sea, and seeing the land sparked me. Now that I have traveled to India and Israel, I see my heritage shining through daily life. During any Jewish holiday, my mother makes festive food: latkes, Homatashen, and Mandel bread. My father makes Indian food for dinner sometimes, the whole family enjoying a spicy, exotic taste. I use terms from India such as â€Å"bus† (enough) and â€Å"kem cho?†(how are you?). I use Yiddish words such as â€Å"oy veh† and â€Å"shlep† without even realizing I am switching languages. My father inspires us with stories of running five miles to school barefoot from a small house with five siblings, and like my mothers New York family, we enjoy argument and persistence. We stay up until two AM debating. I am not jarred when people are surprised by my name, with its boys name in the middle and the sounds of two cultures, and when they look at me thinking I am Persian or Mexican.   At the university, I will major in Jewish Studies and spend a semester or even a year abroad in Israel. I will join Hillel to meet classmates with a similar religious background to mine, and I will find an organization to deepen my knowledge of my Indian roots, keeping an open mind and an open heart while helping others do so as well. Heres an outline of the essay: Upsetting incident incited by someones judgment about my background: Day a good friend wouldnt talk. Told parents and learned possibly that family didnt like their daughter having friend of mixed heritage background now that they were of dating age. Reaction: pride and dedication to exploring own background Fathers family are from India and soon I met them for the first time. Events in India taught me about my relatives attributes. parties and meals impressed with qualities:   generosity, family orientation, fun loving. Mothers background:   grew up Jewish mothers commitment to raising her children Jewish fathers decision to convert from Hinduism so the family could all belong to the Jewish community personal involvement in Jewish education helped Dad with his Bar Mitzvah a year after own Bat Mitzvah involved further as summer camp counselor more involvement as teaching assistant, with studies and the Rabbis award trip to Israel and what it meant Personal qualities now recognized as seen with use of phrases from both languages, enjoyment of diverse food, traits of perseverance and love of debating. Studies in college will further develop knowledge of my heritage and career plans. Conclusion: Statement about being used to peoples amusement on hearing full name and why they are confused about ethnic background. Looking forward to meeting people of diverse backgrounds in college and, with them, delving into heritage and the beauty of religions and culture. Will work to help others experience diversity with open minds and enthusiasm so culture and societies thrive. Stay tuned for how to use outlines to write your college essays in our next post, Write Great College Application Essays and Stay Sane, Part 10. Thanks for joining us as we continue with Staying Sane through the College Essay Writing Process, an ongoing series that offers college applicants and their parents advice on how to stay on track for completing Ivy-worthy essays†¦without flying off the handle. We hope you enjoyed this next part of the series, and STAY SANE! By Sheila Bender, former Accepted.com editor and founder of Writing it Real, a â€Å"community and resource center for writing from personal experience.†